When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I bought beer tonight and got 3 coupons with my receipt. Paper towels, laundry detergent, and Advil. I wonder if Stop & Shop predicts the future or just does this with every beer purchase.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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