Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
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