called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
Randomize
