i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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