He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Just once I'd like to throw a party where I don't have to clean up someone else's blood the next morning.
We never did figure out who the stuff on the wall came from, did we?
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
you were holding her above your head singing Circle of Life in what i assume was a Simba reference. then she smacked her head on a bar light and the bouncers kicked you out
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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