So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
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