well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I knew things were bad when my gyno recommended meditation.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
