I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
