god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
