No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Randomize
