Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
