No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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