woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
