the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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