FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Randomize
