Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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