you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize