"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
