The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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