so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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