i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Sorry, Geoff can’t come to his phone right now. He’s outside trying to show his dick to a bachelorette party bus with “DTF” written on the windows
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