My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
