That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
