dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Did you know you could bring s cooler of beer to the nail salon?
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
PUB CRAWL IS THE WEEK I COME BACK FROM NOLA OMG OMG OMG. Has it been a year already since I tried to make out with you and you let a bar tender take a shot out of your cleavage? Time flies.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
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