Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
There's even glitter on my cock...
Randomize
