Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I love you. Go after that dick
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
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