I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
i believe in u and ur pee
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
