IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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