His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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