There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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