She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize