I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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