No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Randomize
