Apparently you make a good broom.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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