i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
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