also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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