Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(903): View more from Texas

I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.

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(402): View more from Nebraska

Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.

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(765): View more from Indiana

Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun

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(361): View more from Texas

He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.

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(832): View more from Houston, Texas

he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina

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