Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
