I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
