Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
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