Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
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