If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
Randomize
