Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
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