I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
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