so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Randomize
