My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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