i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
please don't ironically join a cult
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