You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
