Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
