Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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