I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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