I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Randomize
