Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
