if i can run in heels then i can drive
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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