the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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