dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
3 words: harry potter burlesque. My life is so much more awesome than yours right now.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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