I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Ladies don't puke and tell
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
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