i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
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