your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
