In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
