Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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