Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
