Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
Randomize
