I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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