Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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