I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
