You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
