he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
