Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize