just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
