So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
