I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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