Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
Randomize