Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Randomize
