her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
I showed up drunk and covered in glitter, smelling like stale booze and dirty stripper and my younger brother gave thanks his life wasn’t a shitshow like mine
That’s how my thanksgiving went
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