I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
