So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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