it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
On the back of that comment, I've formed a theory that as a result of my brainwashing your drunk self actually believes that beards are your calling.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
Randomize
